


Love Therapy

by hyukbins



Series: Ten October Drabbles [1]
Category: Girl's Day (Band), VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hospital, Anxiety, Drama, F/M, Implied/Referenced Suicide, One Shot, Romance, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-13
Updated: 2015-10-13
Packaged: 2018-04-26 04:56:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4991074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyukbins/pseuds/hyukbins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sojin was transferred to the psych-ward to take care of a not-so-mentally deranged patient, who turned out to be Cha Hakyeon. She encounters a dilemma when Hakyeon ends up skipping back to his bad memories in the past and eventually falls in love with her, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Therapy

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: The night before I posted this originally in Asianfanfics, I dreamt of this and it felt like I was one of the nurse? It was weird, really. I saw Sojin and Hakyeon together, it felt weirdly scary. I was searching if dreaming something like that means something. Lmfao. But anyway it's probably because I was thinking too much about this one because I imagined everything when I proofread.

— [Read on Asianfanfics](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1018524/1).

 

 

Sojin is a geriatrician for almost three years now. She has been consistently showing improvement in her work and has helped a lot of old-aged patients in their hospital. She has been declared as one of the best employees and the most caring one, as well.

 

One day, her assistant nurse called to her saying that their CEO would like to talk to her. The doctor gave a wide smile and quickly headed to the office. She gave a knock before coming in, "Yes, Ms. President? You called?" She walked in slowly, smiling at the older.

 

"Yes. I did. I have, uh, something to talk to you about. Please take a seat."

 

She nodded and did as told. She asked what could it be and tilted her head, curious. "You've been showing great amount of improvement in the past couple of months and I get a lot of good feedback about you and your work. I hear you take care of your patients well, and I'm glad." She smiled. "With that I'm giving you a promotion."

 

"A promotion?"

 

"Well, not really a promotion, I'm transferring you." Sojin felt a bit nervous. She didn't know how to react. She has been working for almost three years in the same establishment and now she'll be transferred. She bit her lip unconsciously and asked more information about what the CEO was talking about. She handed her these files compiled in a folder. Sojin flipped them open and read. "A mental hospital? You're transferring me to a mental hospital?"

 

The older clasped her hands together. "A psychward most likely, but yeah, I guess it doesn't make any difference if you call it a mental hospital." Sojin couldn't comprehend if it was meant to be a joke, or if this was meant to be a joke or prank but she didn't like it. At all. Firstly, she didn't want to leave the hospital and her friends. Second, why would she be transferred to a psychward. "I'm very sorry if I'm being rude, but... how is this good for me?" She heaved a sigh internally.

 

"Good question." The president nodded. "The.. the psychward is owned by a friend of mine, and I owe her bigtime for helping me in the past—but that's a different story—and she needed help in their establishment since most of their doctors left to work out of the country. They've lost quite a few, and is asking if I could transfer some of my best employees to work there as caretakers." The other hissed. How could she do that, she thought. The CEO begged, saying that the psychward needs Sojin's expertise, saying she couldn't recommend better employees but her. However, Sojin scooted the folder back to her. She couldn't do it, she said with a shake of his head.

 

"Please, think about it." She cut her explanation off, passing back the item back to her.

 

 

During their usual break, Sojin was with her friend, a doctor like herself. "Well, why didn't you accept? That could be a great opportunity for new experiences." She questioned after Sojin told her all about what she and the CEO talked about earlier in her office. Sojin grimaced, shoving a spoonful of bibimbap inside her mouth. She shook her head, "Are you out of your mind? I'm a geriatrician, for crying out loud. I'm not a psychiatrist, or a therapist or whatever." She mumbled, her mouth evidently stuffed with food. Her friend chuckled at the sight, and shrugged after.

 

"I know you're not a psychiatrist, or a psychologist or therapist or whatever, but don't you realize that the CEO trusts you for this. That she sees a potential in you."

 

They talked while eating and munching on their food. Sojin sighed again, thinking about it. She protested saying that their patients are way different than those in mental hospitals. Well, obviously right. Her friend giggled a bit. "Sojin, not all patients in the mental hospital are deranged. I know, because I read articles about them. It's not that bad."

 

"What if they give me to a psycho?"

 

Impossible, her friend responded. She knows it's impossible that they'd let a geriatrician around a maniac or a serial killer. That'll be a big problem. She isn't at all experienced at taking care of them, of course. She smiled at Sojin, reassuring her. "Try it, nothing bad is going to happen."

 

Sojin was convinced and accepted the offer that same day. She was leaving in three days—she started thanking and bidding goodbyes to the friends she has made in their hospital. She also began packing her stuff a day before her leave. That night, she strolled alone, thinking if she made the right choice. She's going to be taking a different path now, she thought. Could she do it, she asked herself.

 

 

She arrived at the psychward the next day and she was quickly sent to the CEO's office. They both greeted each other, and the older thanked her for accepting the offer. She was also asked to unpack and take the rest of day off for the meantime, and start with work tomorrow. She did so, however she couldn't just settle in alone inside the doctors' dorm—besides the fact that no one was even there, she doesn't feel like resting now. She walked around the place's garden, grabbing some fresh air. To her surprise, there's one person—in a patient's uniform, dragging a certain doll in his hand with him—walking towards the wood bench settled at a side. She strides towards him and ask if he needs help.

 

"I don't need help. I can do things by myself. I'm always alone anyway." He spoke with a decreasing volume in his tone, and without even looking at Sojin. The latter smiled a bit and asked again if she could sit with him instead. The guy shrugged and responded that he didn't mind—or was it whatever? She didn't hear clearly. She glanced at him and was acting curious, she questioned if he was a patient and she gets a sarcastic laugh in response. "Me? A patient? I'm not crazy, unlike the other people here. I'm not, crazy," Sojin smiled at him.

 

"I thought so."

 

Just then, a nurse came running towards the patient, catching her breath. She assumed she has been searching for this guy for awhile now, considering how worried and tired she looked. The nurse apologized to Sojin for any inconvenience made and she shook her head with a bright smile, saying it was okay. They probably didn't know who she was yet, but they recognized that doctor's uniform somewhere, I guess. The patient stood up, stomping his feet like a kid and talked as if he's nagging some relative. He pursed his lips, telling the nurse he doesn't want to eat yet but eventually comes with her back inside the hospital. He's cute, Sojin thought. How about having a patient like him under her care, she thought.

 

Awhile later, she came back to the dorm, and upon the other doctors there to greet her. She greeted them back, a smile stuck to her face. She found them all nice and friendly; it kind of made her feel good. The day ended with a small feast held for Sojin.

 

 

The next day, Sojin arrived in the lobby and she met the head psychiatrist there. She followed her towards the third floow, and to the patient's room that she'll take care of. Upon approaching the door, Sojin heaved a breath. The psychiatrist beside her gave a pat on her shoulder, reassuring her that everything is going to be fine.

 

"His name is Hakyeon, he's not really mentally unstable so you don't have to be scared. He just tends to get triggered and go crazy when he's reminded of his traumatic experience."

 

"What happened?" The psychiatrist gave her his files, and information. She told her to read them all diligently and that all that she needs to know about her patient was jotted in there. She also assured her that it's easy to befriend him, and that taming him isn't any trouble either. Sojin nodded. "We just needed extra help, thank you for being here, Dr. Park."

 

"I'll do my best."

 

The head psychiatrist smiled in response. She'll be tracking her work and get back to her every time she needs help, or would like to ask questions. She mentioned that she'd like to hear good news, and Sojin could only chuckle nervously. Again, she reassured her that everything is going to be just fine with a pat on her shoulder.

 

 

She opened the folder and to her surprise, it was the guy—the patient—she met earlier yesterday in the garden. A smile evidently sprung up her face. She can do this, she told herself. She read through his information sheet quickly but unerring before she walks in inside his room slowly. There were photos of his friends and family inside, information about them were noted too and everything that happened, which concerned the doctor. Hakyeon seem to have been through a whole lot of bad memories, no wonder he was so upset, she thought.

 

He was sitting in front of a television, accompanied by the same doll, uh, stuffed toy that she saw yesterday. She sauntered towards him, trying to call his name softly and grabbing his attention. The guy turned to her and gave no reaction, whatsoever. Sojin just smiled. She walked beside him and set the folder aside. She greeted Hakyeon once again and bowed her head to him.

 

"Hi, Hakyeon."

 

The latter questioned her, how did she know my name and assuming that she was a stalker. Sojin giggled and denied, she smiled at him and spoke to introduce herself to the younger. "I'm Sojin Park. Your new doctor." She was a bit taken aback by his reaction though. There was a moment of silence, but Hakyeon ended up laughing at her. She was confused, but still smiling.

 

"A doctor? Wait, what? I don't need one." He kept chuckling, shaking his head. Sojin walked to his bed, checking if everything is okay. She glanced around the room, nodding randomly and smiling at the fact that the place was rather clean. Hakyeon shrugged. "I'm sure you don't need a doctor. I was kidding, I'm trying to cheer you up—and I guess it worked." She spoke up after going around the room for awhile. Hakyeon smiled and ignored her right after. Sojin grabbed a chair from somewhere in the corner and scooted beside her patient. "So, uh, may I know who this is? I've been curious since yesterday." She asked pointing to his stuffed toy.

 

Hakyeon gave a wide smile, "His name is Leo! He's my only friend." but his face instantly changed. He looked down and told her that all his friends had left him alone, that no one cares about him anymore but his stuffed toy, Leo. Sojin's face saddened as well. "I-I'm sure they didn't want to leave you." Hakyeon shook his head repeatedly and somewhat aggressively, saying she has no right to tell him that because she doesn't know what happened. Sojin knew though, well, she thinks she does because she read his information sheet. But was there something she missed, she thought. She couldn't ask him ask well because she's afraid of triggering him. She smiled at him and nods, "Well, I don't know what happened, but like you I don't have friends too. So we're the same." Hakyeon gave a small smile with her response and reacted unexpectedly. He patted her shoulder a few times and told her not to worry and be sad anymore. This guy doesn't look mentally unstable at all, well, a bit. Sojin thought.

 

 

During their lunch, Sojin was talking to their head psychiatrist and she walking jotting down notes as she talked. He's a bit bipolar, she said. She mentioned earlier that he isn't as mentally unstable as others think. He just felt betrayed and sad about the incident. He's also been around for almost a year already, that he treats the place as a dormitory or apartment of some sort. Sojin did recall calling himself ‘not a patient’ when he talked to him. The head smiled and called Sojin a pretty attentive doctor. The latter laughed, saying she's used to doing so as a geriatrician. The older nodded, seeing her slowly improving and doing a good job in taking care of Hakyeon. She did warn her though, that she should still be careful of Hakyeon, and to not trigger anything to get him crazy.

 

Sojin came back to his room from her short break, and came upon Hakyeon tearing his information sheet. "H-hakyeon.." She ran to him. The guy looked up to her with swollen eyes and it surprised her. He asked if the folder was hers, practically yelling at her. Sojin didn't know how to respond but she felt her head shook gently and a bit nervously. Hakyeon clenched the paper in his fist, asking whose it was, again, yelling. "Tell me!!" Sojin was evidently freaked out, she was holding on his shoulders and trying to calm him. He suddenly shut his eyes and shook his head aggressively.

 

"No!"

 

He pushed Sojin, and hit a disruptive table nearby. Despite getting hit and hurt, she asked him and mumbled to keep calm, even when she's already wincing in pain. He stood up and held on his head, as it started stinging as well. He uttered her name. But like you I don't have friends too, so we're the same." The words skipped back to him, and once again he uttered her name. Sojin smiled weakly as she tried to stand up. Nurses barged in asking if she's okay. It immediately triggered and scared poor little Hakyeon away, and he came running and hiding under the bed. She tried standing up completely and gave a heavy sigh. "I'm fine. Now you scared him away! Don't ever do that again!" The nurses apologized and headed out with a lot of concern.

 

  
Two years ago, Hakyeon was in college. He had a lot of friends, and is the youngest in his family. He's the type of person who hangs out with his friends, and smiles and laughs a lot with them. They're his—let's say—favorite person in the world, even calling him their angel because he's everything you'd like for a friend. Once, they had a small get-together at his place and his family was there. They initially plan to have fun until one of his ‘friends’ got too jealous of him even before the said event. Hakyeon being one who gets treated well by their friends and loved by his family, he betrayed him and threatened to set the place on fire that day so they could all die together—which was a pretty stupid thing, Hakyeon thought. They all thought he was joking around but he wasn't. He tried talking to him through it but it wasn't enough, the guy was already blinded by envy and jealousy. He sets the place on fire, and Hakyeon's friends started joking about it, saying how this ‘prank’ is going well. At that point, he thought they were all involved in the treacherous idea and plan to kill his family. He felt betrayed, but as the fire gets serious they started panicking. He wanted to save his family, but he wasn't that skilled to. He got out of the place, regretting why he was the first person the firemen rescued. They all ended up dead by the time the fire was extinguished, bodies found after and the rest didn't even made it to the hospital. He cried all day that day, he couldn't forget everything. In the next few days, he started going on about his family and telling others that they're still alive. This eventually lead to him being deranged—not really—and was transferred to the psychward.

 

  
The girl peeked under the bed, calling his name. He looked at her and asked how come there were nurses who barged in so suddenly. I thought you don't have any friends, he asked. Sojin smiled and shook her head, answering his question. "I don't know them, I don't know who they were. I just told them never to scare you like that again. Now can you come out? It's really dark and scarier in there." He smiled as he looked at her again, and crawled out. He asked her if he's her only friend and if he hurt her. Sojin smiled and ruffled his hair. He assured him that she's alright even when her sides are hurting. Obviously she doesn't want him to worry anymore.

 

"I'm fine. How about you? Are you hurt somewhere?"

 

He suddenly grinned at him and clings on her arm, which earned a laugh from the older. She felt relieved despite looking down on the swollen-eyed Hakyeon. She brushed his hair, wanting to ask him about what happened when she was gone but didn't want to prompt him again. She could only wait for him to talk to her voluntarily. Just then, Hakyeon stirred up and cupped her cheeks. She was surprised but she let him. He asked, "Why are you wearing that coat? Isn't that a doctor's uniform? You aren't a doctor right?" Sojin laughed at the random questions being thrown at her. She answered that she's just pretending to be one, and he started grimacing like a kid saying that doesn't sound fun. She smiled and ruffled the guy's hair, offering if he wants to eat anything. He said he was okay. She started picking up the pieces of teared paper on the floor and collected them to throw in the trash bin. She glanced at her patient, whose eyes are still evidently swollen and was looking at her as she did. He smiled at her and made her sure he's alright now. She shouldn't have left his information folder where he'd see it, she thought.

 

The nurses reported what happened to Sojin to their head psychiatrist. She got worried, and approached her awhile later to ask how she's doing and if she got hurt. The latter shook her head, she mentioned how she was pushed, hit a table and felt scared but more than that, she was more worried of Hakyeon being in emotional pain. It was only because he was mad and scared, she said. Again, she told herself that she shouldn't have left the folder where he'd be able to get and see it. The head psychiatrist was full of concern, asking if she was really okay.

 

"Yes, I am. Just, more worried about Hakyeon now that I know how hurt he gets when triggered.."

 

She sighed, responding a bit crestfallen. The head psychiatrist gave her a pat on her shoulder and scooted over another copy of his information sheet. This time she made sure to keep it away of Hakyeon's reach.

 

 

A few weeks passed and Hakyeon has been doing good with his therapies, he's also been eating and talking a lot—with and to Sojin. He spent almost 20 hours a day everyday with her, and it actually confused his feelings. For two and a half years, he had forgotten how it feels to fall in love and yet, here's Sojin giving him unusual emotional feelings. He doesn't want to get carried away, and would like to get to talk to her more. He knows she's his friend, he knows she's been there for him but he also knows he can't just go developing feelings for her. He is mentally unstable but that doesn't mean he can't think properly at times. In the past few days, every time she greets him, he gets excited. Every time she smiles and laughs, he feels his heart race and every time she pats, ruffles his hair and cares for him a lot, he feels lighthearted and loved; Things he's never felt for a long time.

  
"Hakyeon, good morning. Do you have classes today?" She smiled, greeting the younger as she pushed the door open, holding on to cups of coffee. By classes, she meant therapies, by the way. She used the term to make it easier for Hakyeon to understand. He stood up from his bed, shaking his head. Today is his free day, he said, beaming at her. Sojin knew that though, she asked because she didn't want to be obvious.

 

It has been like this in the past few weeks. Sojin didn't think of it as pretending or lying but a help for Hakyeon to slowly improve from his instability. She'll eventually tell her the truth though, she knows she has to. "Really? That's great, then. What do you want to do today?" She grinned, putting down their cups. He jumped to his chair, offering to play a game as he held onto his cup. The girl tilted her head in curiosity and asked him back what game he wanted to play. He tilted his head as well and tapped his chin, scrunching up his lip like a kid. Tell me a secret game, he uttered. She looked at him and hesitated. It didn't sound like a good idea but she thought the situation would be worse if she says no. She soon smiled at him and agreed to play the game, and questioned if there are rules. Hakyeon shook his head slowly, he told her that there will be no rules beside not telling a lie. She nodded and started off.

 

"I was a ballerina when I was a kid,"

 

The guy gasped in surprise. Sojin laughed, she doesn't know if he meant to do that or was he really surprised. Probably the second option, right. "It's true, and it was a secret but now you know." Hakyeon nodded and kept a smiling face, imagining how cute she probably was when she was a kid. She ruffled his hair, asking why he was suddenly spaced out, and was telling him that it's his turn. Hakyeon chuckled. Shaking his head, he thought for awhile.

 

"I was an A+ student in high school!"

 

That's a fact, not a secret, she giggled. The younger pursed his lips and hit her arm playfully. "Ah, Hakyeon failed!" She laughed, a bit relieved he wasn't triggered with what he admitted. Just then, he remembered he wanted to give something to her. He got up from his chair and ran to his bed to grab the small gift. He handed a letter to her and it smelled like lilac, she said and was rather surprised receiving a sudden letter from him like this. He rubbed his nape, telling her that it's his first time writing a letter again that it felt really weird to do. She smiled widely, thanking him. When she was about to unfold the letter, he stopped her. Don't open it until I get better, he told her. She realized how Hakyeon was now aware of his mental instability—maybe the reason why he wasn't triggered—and all she could do was smile at the thought of it. The guy poked her cheek, asking if she's okay, this time she was the one who looked zoned out. She pulled on him and hugged him, thanking him again and again for being kind and thoughtful, and being her friend. Hakyeon flustered, he quickly pulled away, looking down. She bit her lip, apologizing for getting carried away. The younger chuckled a bit, he said it was okay, trying to hide how his heart started beating fast. He stood up, run and practically jumps back to his bed. Sojin smiled.

 

 

One day, her former assistant nurse invited her to one of their co-worker's birthday, a friend of hers. They're going to be celebrating at the geriatrics hospital she once worked at. She was excited to go, and quickly got permission from the head psychiatrist and CEO. She went off without telling Hakyeon, she was worried but the others told her not to worry and that they'll take care of him. Later, he asked where Sojin was as soon as unfamiliar nurses came in. No one answered, though. They told him to eat breakfast and drink his medicine. They stood there, looking at him. The latter shook his head, saying he won't eat until he sees her. Oh no, the others thought. The don't want him getting prompt and anxious but they didn't know what to do. The patient asked again in a louder tone, "Where is Sojin!?" The nurses answered, saying they don't know. He was slowly clenching his fists and glaring at the nurses. They felt uncomfortable, and soon, one excused herself out to call a doctor's help. A few seconds later, he loosened and calmed down. The nurse left in the room was surprised. She, too, realized that he has been progressing with his therapies. She watched him walk back to his bed and lied down. She took a deep breath before asking him to grab his meal right away. However, there was no response. He usually replies to Dr. Park though, the nurse whispered to herself and shrugged.

 

"Leave, now."

 

Those were the words that escaped Hakyeon's mouth after a moment of silence. Not wanting to disturb him any longer, the nurse obliged. He stayed in his bed for a few hours. He waited for her to come in to his room, without eating.

 

 

During the party, Sojin felt uneasy. She kept thinking about Hakyeon, how he's doing, if he's eating and if he's looking for her. She couldn't even eat properly and chat with her old friends. They were concerned though, and asked if she's okay. Sojin smiled and nodded, trying to assure them that everything's okay. Awhile later, she excused herself to the comfort room. Just as she stood up, the letter surprisingly fell from her bag. The letter that he gave, that she's been keeping with her anywhere she goes. She stared at it for seconds before picking it up, and again, thinking of Hakyeon. She sighed, she couldn't help but feel uneasy. She told her friends that she'll go back to the psychward with a very concerned tone, because something felt wrong. Her friends kind of hesitated but understood that she really had to go. She smiled and thanked them, bidding quick goodbyes. She ran out, even when she's in her heels and hailed a cab, wanting to get to her patient as soon as possible.

 

She wished everything was okay. Apparently, no. Hakyeon's anxiety triggered. He started hurting himself with some sharp objects, that only God knows where he got them. He was cutting, peeling off a part of his skin with scissors, every cut felt painful but he feels numb this way, and it's a good feeling for him. His tears that already dried down are being replaced with overflowing new ones. Every slit felt a sting but he couldn't help but do it more. He thought of nothing but this, self-harm, he thought. One of the best medicines. He couldn't get mad at other people because he knows he'll only hurt them, and he doesn't want that anymore. His blood was dripping everywhere and with every drop, he felt dizzier. With a final slit, he collapsed on the floor with a loud thud, he mumbled Sojin's name and before even closing his eyes, he heard his name being yelled as someone ran towards him.

 

  
It was already past 9PM, Hakyeon slowly aroused, gripping on the hand that's holding his. His eyes barely scanned around and soon realized he was in a different room. He mumbled incoherently, gripping on the hand of the other again. "H-hakyeon?" It was Sojin holding tightly onto his hand. She fell asleep looking after him, most probably. Sojin was fully awake when she saw Hakyeon smiling at her weakly.

 

"Oh, thank God. Oh God, you're finally awake. Hakyeon, how are you feeling?" The guy didn't respond and gripped tightly on her hand. Sojin nodded, telling him that she won't leave again. She asked him again after, how was he feeling, and this time he answered by saying he feels numb. She sighed softly. She wasn't joking, she said and asked him once more.

 

"I feel stupid for doing what I did. But now that you're here, I feel better. Sojin, please don't leave."

 

The doctor stood up and messed up his hair. She told her how sorry she is, and that she will never leave again. She smiled a bit, but felt bad seeing bandages around his arms, wrist and hands. She wanted to get mad at whoever was responsible for leaving those damn sharp objects that weren't suppose to be there in the first place, she wanted to get mad at whoever responsible for leaving and not looking over Hakyeon—but she couldn't. She felt like it's her fault, no, she knows it's her fault. That's why seeing Hakyeon like this hurts her as much as those wounds hurt him. She could only sigh of relief that he's alright. Lost in her thoughts, he reached and poked her cheek. He pouted, asking where she had gone to. He looked down after, bringing up the topic about her having friends. Sojin rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb, smiling and saying sorry. "You're my only friend, Hakyeon." His face shifted to a grin so quickly. He trusts her a lot.

 

"I promise, when I get better, we'll be making a lot more friends together."

 

 

Months passed and Hakyeon has been continuously improving. He doesn't get triggered a lot anymore, than the past yet Sojin was still careful. She took really good care of him and watches over him all day, everyday. He was finally sure of his feelings towards her as time goes by. He's happy with her, he realized. And there is no other person in the world he'd want to be with but her. It was written in his letter for her, but like he said he didn't want her to read it until he gets better—because he wanted to assure her of his feelings without thinking that it was only because he's unstable. Now, she'll know what his heart says, from his letter. He's decided that today will be the day.

 

"Hey, Hakyeon. Is there anything you need? Why'd you call for me?" She came in his room, smiling at him. She walked towards him and dragged a chair beside his bed. He asked if she still has the letter he gave, she thought for awhile and remembered. She told him she'll come back soon and ran out to the dorm quickly to grab it from her bag. It still smelled like lilac even after months, she uttered. She immediately came back to Hakyeon, showing the letter to him. The latter grinned, and excitedly asked her to open and read it now. With a nod, she started unfolding the handmade, somehow glancing at the younger.  He was anticipating her reaction and was staring at her simultaneously with the letter. When she finally finished unfolding, she started. She was smiling at first but as she read through, her face shifted opposite, earning a worried look from Hakyeon. "You... didn't like it?" He asked, fiddling with the hem of his uniform. She looked at him and shook her head blatantly, saying that she liked it so much and that it's so pretty. He felt slightly dispirited as she spoke that way, she sounded half-hearted with her response.

 

He looked down, "It's not meant to be pretty, Sojin. I'm serious, and I wanted you to read it now that I'm kind of stable because I want you to believe me."

 

She was evidently avoiding eye contact but was giving a small smile. He stole glances at her. She asked him if he wanted an answer right away but he replied saying he isn't expecting it sooner, and that he wanted to wait and for her to think. He chuckled after talking. The atmosphere has become weird and emotional, he said. Sojin smiled weakly and sighed inaudibly, standing up from her chair and still avoiding eye contact. He asked if she's okay, tilting his head like a kid. She couldn't help but look at him, and notice the cute-looking Hakyeon in front of her, it made her chuckle. He felt his heart skip a beat, but also relieved. Seeing her smile and laugh is his medicine, he thought. Sojin thought of an excuse to head out for awhile, she asked him if she can go out, that she'll eat for the meantime because she's gotten hungry. "Do you want me to get you something?" He shook his head, assuring her with a grin, telling that she should go and eat already. She nodded as response and walked out of the room. Hakyeon looking at her from her back.

 

During her break, she was with other doctors, and the head psychiatrist was beside her as usual. She questioned Hakyeon's state and Sojin couldn't answer properly. It took her a few minutes to answer, and gave a heavy sigh as one. The older asked whether everything's alright or if she needs help with anything.

 

"Yes, but confused. He gave me a letter a few months ago and told me to open it once he got better. He told me to read it awhile ago."

 

Their head psychiatrist looked concerned and asked what was written on the letter. This wasn't something she expects, Sojin assumed but told her, "He confessed to me." She scoffed a bit, telling her that she thought it was only a ‘thank you’ letter. She should've seen that coming, but she was stupid, she added. The other smiled and told her that it isn't her fault. She didn't expect it, but it wasn't new; there were other cases like this in the past, she said. They talked about it more for awhile and the older requested her to smile, mentioning how it suit her better and that it was how Hakyeon fell in love with her. With that thought, she smiled.

 

He isn't the type of person who's hard to fall in love with. He's an angel; kind, loving and thoughtful. Sojin realized all of these reading his letter, and it's also been a long time since she got into a relationship. However she kept having this feeling that this is wrong. She couldn't picture a geriatrician and a psychward patient ending up together, and how he's too affectionate for someone like her. It's probably what's holding her back, and scares her. She sighed, enough for others to hear. They chuckled asking why she was thinking too deeply. They're right, she thought. She should just keep positive for the meantime, smiling at them and telling them that she's alright.

 

Hakyeon has been waiting for a few hours, and has gotten a bit impatient. Sojin should've already came back to check on him but she hasn't. He pursed his lips as he waited a bit longer but still hasn't come back. He decided to get up and head out to look for her. If she's eating, then she must be at the cafeteria, he thought. He quickly got up from his bed and sauntered out his room. He forgot the last time he went out of his room, he whispered to himself a bit excited. Sauntering, he was scanning the place as if everything looked new to him. The other nurses and workers recognized him but didn't bother talking to him, even if they're aware of his stability. He was soon arriving the cafeteria and noticed Sojin from a distance, he was hiding and peeking behind the wall, smiling as he was staring at her. He was about to walk to her when he saw her sitting with the other doctors, laughing with them. Hakyeon took a step back, his mind flashed back to his past all of a sudden, seeing himself smile and laugh with his friends, and eventually see them die in front of him.

 

His head started hurting and he felt a heavy feeling in his chest, he took more steps back and looked around. His visions quickly turning vague and fuzzy, and bad memories kept skipping back to his mind. He felt like suffocating. He turned back and ran towards the rooftop, not thinking about what he's doing. All he's thinking is how Sojin lied to him, and none other than that. His tears started falling drastically and he doesn't even know why. He ran up the rooktop and fell to his knees upon getting there, still thinking why Sojin lied to him, how hard it's been for him and how all his efforts to get better seem to have felt wasted. Everything she showed, said and how she cared was a lie, he thought.

 

It hurts him so much. He looked up and stared at the edge of the building, thinking it'd be better if all this pain just stop and fade away. Self-harm was his only way out of anxiety but this time, sharp objects, wounds and dripping blood isn't enough anymore. Suicide sounded better. He walked forward slowly, crying and unsure if this was right.

 

 

At the cafeteria, Sojin was still unaware of what happened, and what's happening. A nurse came running, practically yelling her name. They were all intrigued. The nurse couldn't speak coherently at first and was trying to keep calm, catching her breath.

 

"Dr. Park, H-Hakyeon..."

 

She stood instantly, asking what happened. The other stuttered, telling her that he went out of his room and when she asked where he had gone to or if anyone's seen him, they told her he ran up to the rooftop. Sojin's eyes widened. "They said he went to call for you but ran away so suddenly after seeing you."

 

The doctor immediately left her spot and followed him up to the rooftop. As soon as she reached there, Hakyeon was standing almost at the edge of the building. The sight shook her, her heart started racing fast, it scared her so much. "Hakyeon..." She uttered and bit her lip. "Hakyeon!"

 

He turned to her, with the same swollen eyes from before, "What are you doing here?" He felt his heart skip a beat seeing her, but this time it was a bad feeling. He turned back telling her to leave him alone, and to let him die. She protested, telling him to stop and think about what he's doing. Something I should've done years ago, he answered. She didn't know what to do, she doesn't know what to say, she felt like everything she'll eventually do will provoke him to jump. She quietly moved forward while he wasn't looking.

 

"Hakyeon, look at me please, and talk to me. Everything will be fine."

 

He yelled, shutting his eyes closed and disagreeing, that everything has gone wrong. He turned around, still at the edge. He took a deep breath before asking Sojin, "Why did you lie to me? From the beginning you lied to me, all of it was a lie." She took a step forward. "Don't! Come any closer, or I'll jump!" She started crying, telling him not to, even begging him to come down and talk to her. He shook his head, not wanting to hear anymore lies from her. Sojin begged, "I'm sorry Hakyeon, but please listen to me. I did not lie to you. You were my only friend. I was smiling because I was talking about you." Hakyeon looked away, rolling his eyes.

 

"NO! No, you weren't. Because you never actually cared, and loved me. You even half-heartedly responded to what was written on my letter."

 

Sojin couldn't respond, grasping her hands together, wishing for some kind of miracle to happen. He looked at her, and called her name, smiling weakly. She lifted her head and looked at him back. "I love you, Sojin... and I'm sorry that I do. At least before I die I get to tell you personally." This time it was her to took a deep breath.

 

"Hakyeon, I don't know if you'll believe me or not but—"

 

"—I love you too." All of a sudden, he pulled back a few inches away from the edge but didn't turn to see her. He listened as she continued to talk. "I love you, but I was afraid of loving you because a person like me doesn't deserve you. You're an angel, Hakyeon; You were my only friend at first but I went to acknowledge other people because I wanted to know you better, and only those other people here can help me when you were unstable. Yes, I did lie to you somehow but if I didn't, you won't get to how you are now, and I don't want that to happen. I want you to get better, because it's what makes you feel better—"

 

"Hakyeon, if you die, I'll die too. And believe me, all I just said is true. Are you listening? It's not just me talking to you right now, but also her heart. I hope it gets to you, Hakyeon?"

 

Her voice kept repeating his name, and it lingers on his ears. It felt calming. He turned around to her, looking down as he gets off from the edge. She couldn't believe what she's seeing. She smiled a bit and stride towards him. He talked, saying he doesn't believe her and that he is mad at her, in his softest, lowest voice—but he loves her too much already. He fell down to his knees, feeling tired. The doctor came to aid him, and cupped his face, lifting it up to look at his eyes. He was still crying and silently whimpering with his eyes closed. He doesn't want to see her, she assumed but she was already feeling relieved now that she's holding onto him and around her arms. She wiped his tears with her thumb, cooing and caressing him gently. "I'm sorry," are the words that left his mouth. Sojin shook her head, saying it wasn't his fault. She leaned in and planted a faint kiss on his forehead. "An angel like you shouldn't say sorry, it was my fault. I should be the one apologizing."

 

 

Hakyeon suddenly hugged her tightly.  _You're my angel_ , he whispered.

 


End file.
